A Germ of Thought

I may not be losing weight very fast but I am killing it in the gym. I'm working so hard and loving every minute of it. You probably couldn't tell by the look on my face when I'm trying to get that last rep on the leg press but I love it because it represents progress.

I've been having this crazy idea lately. It's not a new idea. It's one I've toyed with repeatedly over the years. When I was in my early 30's, I was deeply into bodybuilding and the bodybuilding scene in Illinois. I trained at a bodybuilding gym. I attended the shows and even began the process of certification as a show judge. I was starting my first prep for a show when I got pregnant and that pretty much ended that story. I've tried getting back in the gym on and off over the years but haven't been able to dedicate myself to training until two years ago. I gained so much weight that I screwed up my health and obliterated any gains I had made both with my weight and my musculature.

But I never completely lost the dream of competing again. Usually I look in the mirror and tell myself there's no way I could ever get my body back into competing shape, not at my age. And maybe that's true. I don't know. But I'm starting to have the crazy idea that maybe it's not such an impossible goal after all. Difficult, yes. Lots of hard work and sacrifice, for sure. But impossible, maybe not. It's just a gleam of a germ of a thought right now but thoughts become things. Maybe if I think this thought just right, it will flower into reality. Just maybe...

Arthritis Win

Just dropping a short post because I've reached a milestone (for me) in this saga of my RA. Today I was able to lift the 15 lb. dumbbell I used for the dumbbell bench press with my left hand alone. No assistance at all either lifting it up into position or putting it down on the floor. I consider that huge because my wrist pain has prevented me from doing a large number of exercises.

When I saw the rheumatologist last Thursday, she said it would take a few months for the medication to fully kick in. It looks like it is doing that and now my wrist can get stronger so I lift heavier weights. I think the next time Rog changes my workout we can incorporate a lot more exercises. I am so pleased!

Starting The Week With A Win

Despite all my protestations that I didn't want the scale to run my weight loss journey, when the number on the scale goes down I'm a happy camper. I'm down two pounds this morning and am at 214 lbs. This will not hit my goal for the month but it's the best news I've had in a week.

Rog wants me to start doing measurements for progress. I'm reluctant simply because I have so much trouble being consistent between measurement time periods. I've had numbers go up when it makes no sense and is surely related to small differences in where the tape measure is hitting. Maybe I'll use some indelible pen to mark where on my body I should put the tape! Or not.

We'll be talking about making changes next week and probably after the pictures are available.

Progress Pants

Here's my Saturday win and then I'll explain the title of this post. My win is the workout I did on Saturday. It was leg press day which has already turned out to be the exercise I like the most and dread the most. It kicks my ass (or more specifically my quads and hammies). I got one more rep on my first set than last time which will be a win for me since these are so hard. The rest of the workout kicked ass too. I was definitely one sore puppy at the end of the day.

But let's get to the title of the post and the story behind it.

Yesterday I weighed myself, as I do on Saturday morning. No weight change. None for the week. In fact, I'm up almost a full pound from the week before despite no breaks from the food plan. And I'm bummed of course. Now I don't want to make this journey all about my weight because that's short-sighted and rather stupid. I'll take pictures, as I've said, at the end of the month. However, I felt I needed something else to help me gauge my progress. I decided that, since I had some cash and a discount at one of the clothing stores I shop at, I would try on a pair of jeans a size smaller than the ones I'm in now. Just to see how far away I am from downsizing. And it wasn't too bad! I was able to get them on my hips but not button or zip them. Probably about 20 lbs. away from fitting into them comfortably. I thought this would be a great opportunity to have something to not only gauge progress but to know where I need to take a diet breather. I'm about 20 lbs. away from my intermediate goal of 194 or so lbs. and I want to stop dieting for awhile once I reach that weight. If I don't reach that exact weight but am able to fit into the size 14 jeans comfortably then I know I'm where I want to be. I really don't know what it's going to take to reach that weight or where my ultimate weight will land. If I build some solid muscle and lose fat, it may be higher than I think. Or not. Either way, size 14 jeans will be the place I take a breather.

I've got those pants hanging in my room so I'm constantly aware of my goal and can try them on every week or so. One way or another I will see my progress.

When The Levee Breaks

Today's weather put me in mind of one of my favorite Led Zeppelin songs. "If it keeps on raining, levee's gonna break." It's rained a steady downpour since last night with no sign of stopping today. The retention ponds all around us have either overflowed or will soon. That means heavy flooding for our subdivision and it means no way in and no way out. We've seen this twice before since we moved here 15 years ago and it is not pretty. The village is doing everything it can to pump the water out so hopefully if it does flood it won't be too damaging.

This morning I was thinking of not going to the gym due to the potential flood. Last time this happened I went out to do my Saturday shopping and when I got back a few hours later I barely made in back into my driveway. But I decided we weren't at that point yet so out I went for a great new workout Rog gave me. Today I have a flood win! And a goblet squat win! Double win!

I haven't been squatting much due to bad knees and bad body mechanics. Rog has had me working on glutes and core mostly the last few months. Today it paid off big time when I did goblet squats for the first time since last summer. Not only was my form great...stable, hips low, knees out...but I did them using a 20 lb. dumbbell. The last time I did goblet squat I did them with a 10 lb. dumbbell holding onto a wall. Not this time. I was very pleased.

Not so pleased that I weighed today after two low days with no change in weight. I need to talk to Rog about this on Monday. I don't want weight to be the sole criteria for progress. I wasn't going to take pictures until the end of May but I think I'll do them at the end of this month to see if there is any visible progress. I'd rather not make changes if things are really happening. It's hard for me to be objective about these things and I need Rog to give it his professional eyes.

Traveling Win

I went to Newark, NJ yesterday. I had no idea it was so close to downtown Manhattan. I saw the NY skyline and the Statue of Liberty from the plane as we were coming in to land. Mind blown!

It was a long and tiring day but ultimately successful on all fronts. My colleagues and I were successful in our goal for visiting the client site which was to get them over the hump of decision-making and project ownership. And I was successful in my goal of eating on food plan. Not that I had a formal food plan because I had no idea where my food was coming from that day. The plan was to make wise choices based on my bottom line (no sugar, no grain). Actually, I think I ended up undereating for a 1500 calorie day but that's ok. I'm not sure so it doesn't count.

For breakfast I had Greek yogurt, protein powder and blueberries with my usual coffee creamer mix of coconut milk and chocolate protein powder (so love that stuff). I brought a Quest bar for emergency use. My first choice opportunity was lunch when we got to the client site. Flashback to all the hospital cafeterias I've ever eaten in. It was Mexican day so I chose meat chili with shredded cheese and a banana (not in the chili, silly!) It was enough to tide me over through the 2-hour meeting. Afterwards, on the way back to the airport, I realized I was STARVING and needed to eat immediately or risk meltdown. I chose a sit-down restaurant so I could get some coffee. Not a bad menu. I chose grilled chicken breast with some kind of spinach stuff on top with sides of mashed potatoes and broccoli. It's funny how at this restaurant I was not tempted in the least to throw caution to the wind but I was at the casino steak house. I guess ambiance is everything.

That fit the bill and I was fine for the rest of the night. Which turned out to be a very long night. My flight from Newark to Charlotte was uneventful and on time. But the second leg from Charlotte to Chicago, not so much. The plane they were preparing turned out to have some unexplained bad smell, so at the last minute the airline decided to pull that plane and substitute another that was landing an hour later. I wound up with a two hour delay taking off, so I ate my Quest bar so I wouldn't get hungry mid-flight. My sweet hubby and my sweet dog picked me up when I landed around 11:30 pm and brought me home to fall into bed.

And that's my traveling win for yesterday!

Weekend Win

A losing Saturday night for the Cooley team turned out to be a weekend win for me. Friday night, Chris asked if we could go to the casino on Saturday for a session of video poker and a steak dinner. Lucky for me, that's what I had already planned for  Saturday's dinner. Bonus was getting a dinner reservation for 7 pm. so that I wasn't eating too late.

However, as it turns out, by the time dinner rolled around I was starving. There is nothing more challenging to a food plan than sitting in a fine restaurant with a menu in your hands and bread on the table. I came *this* close to chucking everything I had planned, including no dessert (visions of carrot cake danced in my head. I gotta make that sugar- and grain-free recipe!) But as I thought about the consequences and asked myself what do I really want, the food or the win, I chose the win. I ordered the shrimp cocktail, filet, sweet potato and mushrooms I had planned. With my first cup of coffee in hand and the gorgeous shrimp cocktail in front of me, I felt so much better. By the time dinner was done, I was full and satisfied. And I didn't have to carry all that guilt around with me.

Unfortunately, the gambling part was such a win but that's another very familiar story.

Something New

I've never been what you would call a skilled athlete. I'm more of an athlete by force of will. In other words, I'm not naturally good at anything athletic. I dont' run very well, I can't do gymnastics or throw a ball well. I'm just not built for it. I'm sort of a pickup truck instead of a sleek Ferrari.

One athletic thing I've always avoided whenever possible (there are many things!) is anything involving jumping. Track and field, basketball, hell even gym class calisthenics were the bane of my existence in high school. I decided that maybe I couldn't change that but I could at least make it a little better by working on doing it all the time. Practice makes perfect, right? Perfection most likely will elude me but perhaps I could learn to do it without fear, trepidation and damaging my ankles. I'd like to at least be able to do jumping jacks and burpees safely and confidently. Not happening the way I am now.

Here's the plan. On the days I go out for my walk, I will do calf raises with an ankle pop (raising up quickly with force) to strengthen those joints and then just do some simple jumping. I'll work on springing up (eventually bringing my knees up too) and landing as softly as possible, not jarring the knees and ankles. I'm doing this on grassy surfaces. I tried it on pavement and that's a big N to the O for that. I figure it will take a long time to build up the strength to jump and the feel of landing properly. I'm looking at this as a performance goal that I can count towards a daily win.

It seems like a small thing but I'll take my wins where I can get them.

My Daily Win

I haven't posted in a couple of weeks because frankly nothing of interest has been happening on the fitness/weight loss front. I've been chugging along, doing my workouts and following my daily food plans. With a few days off here and there which I will not beat myself up about. I lost a few more pounds in March and was down to 216.4 at the end of the month. So all good as far as it goes.

But I've been getting into a funk lately. Maybe (probably) it has to do with needing some time off of work and a real vacation which I haven't had in almost a year. Also the weather has been mostly crappy which puts me in a bad mood. And the weight loss routine has become just that. A routine. And routine bores me.

Talking to Rog yesterday about finding things other than the number on the scale to tell me I'm making progress, we discussed goals. Other than the weight loss goal, I don't have any. My strength training is going well but I'm not working out in a situation where I'm going to see great gains and certainly not to make grand goals. Until my weight loss is done and I can eat enough to sustain harder workouts that's not going to happen. I could probably come up with some walking goals but again...boring. Then he said I need some wins and we hit on the thought of a daily win. I need to come up with daily wins, those small victories that are moving me along the path to progress. The big wins don't come often enough to keep up a real sense of excitement. This part of the process is the boring slogging part where many people give up. WHICH IS NOT HAPPENING, NO SIREE!!

I can post about my daily wins which may not seem like much but can keep me interested and keep me going.

Today's daily win is a weight loss (complaining as I was yesterday that it's not happening!). Today I was 215.2 lbs., down almost a pound since the beginning of the month. Yay!!!  Also a win was going up 5 lbs. on the single arm lat pulldown. Yay, me!! Yay, progress!!!